what my weekend looked like:

quitting smoking sucks.

i miss nicotine. i was talking to a friend about why its so hard to quit smoking, and we deduced that most of it has to do with environment and the habits associated with that particular environment: for example, i [used to] smoke at the same times and same places daily (ie. in my car on the way to school, between my classes at brandon’s house, etc.), and much of the difficulty has been in not knowing what to do with myself in places where i would normally always be smoking. and i have smoked nearly everywhere in seattle, so that makes it even more difficult. but when i get depressed about the lack of marlboro 100’s in my life, i just look at this photo and remember happier times:

sigh.

a swede weekend.

i don’t remember ever being more sad to see a weekend end.

friday i saw lykke li perform, and that was a treat. it was my first show that i could drink at, so i took full advantage and downed a couple g&t’s before lykke came on, and it definitely enhanced the experience. she was amazing: not even just her music, but the way she moved was hypnotizing. her body was doing a lot of pumping and rocking and swaying… she almost moved like a rapper. and she did a cover of lil wayne’s “a milli” that was swede/sweet. her performance was fabulous, and i just dancedancedanced my little heart out. afterward, i went out with the crew to the george and dragon, and luckily for me it was my roommate jackie’s birthday, and she kept getting free shots, and a couple times i got a free shot simply because i was sitting next to her. after that, we all went to calin’s place and ate brownies and talked and danced and smoked.

saturday was by far the best valentine’s day i’ve ever had. josh and i woke up at 2 and made a scramble for breakfast/lunch and ate it while we watched the last episode of ’six feet under’ and decided that he is the ted to my claire. after that, we drove up to our beach on camano island to try to catch the sunset. it was even more beautiful than the first time we went. when we got home, we cooked dinner together, and then ate our spaghetti and drank our wine with fleet foxes as background music. after dinner, grant came back, and shane and emily and nick came over, so we all watched ’superbad’… which is the best, and least conventional, valentine’s day movie ever.

sunday i laid low: josh and i ran errands for most of the day, and while we were at fred meyer, we bought a box of v-day chocolates at 50% off, and between the two of us, split every single chocolate in the box; we hung out with katie ann for a while and i finally got to see her beautiful house; we had dinner with two of josh’s friends from home were shopping in seattle for the day; and went to bed so early.

yesterday, i had just planned on doing homework, but paige came to fremont coffee and kidnapped me. we drove east to roslyn, but almost everything was closed, so we drove to the nearby town of cle elum, where paige had apparently spent a lot of time in her early youth. the drive out there was beautiful: it was so clear and we could see the mountains perfectly, and everything had a blue tint to it. it was so sunny and mild in seattle, but once we got past north bend, there was snow everywhere; it was like we were transported into a little winter wonderland. we ate dinner at a quaint mexican restaurant, and i had a really good margarita with my chicken enchilada. it was such a good day-trip, even though we didn’t really do much except drive and eat. but paige and i had a really good conversation on the way back, and it was worth it to forsake my homework and spend some time with her.

and now: back to school.

tom amorose’s fancy is easily tickled.

and that is not what she said.

so i’m in this english survey class where we read the earliest known english literature (ie. beowulf) up until about the end of the sixteenth century. i must confess that this era of literature is not quite my favorite, or even my runner-up for favorite, but the thing that makes me love this class is my professor, tom amorose, and his love of social statistics. without fail, every class period begins with him asking how we’re all doing, and if there’s anything exciting going on in our lives; this always leads to some freshman girl talking about planning her sister’s wedding shower or being excited about going to some lame campus event. regardless of the subject matter’s level of obscurity, tom always manages to enlighten us with statistics that are relevant to so-and-so’s comment. my favorite one thus far was today in class, while we were discussing sonnets written during the tudor period, and the convention of ‘unrequited love’; tom started talking about studies done on people in love, and that the brain scans of persons in the early stages of love closely resemble brain scans of people with schizophrenia… brilliant! ah, tom… you never let me down.

so i had the best weekend ever in portland. from watching the exorcist to breakfasting at vita cafe, to walking the waterfront and getting happily lost within powell’s books, to seeing my godmother and receiving her approval and adoration of my boyfriend, to drinking wine with grant’s mom and hanging out with blake and his bandmates, to intense and amazing conversations on the back porch over cigarettes, to waking up at noon and making the best scramble ever, to seeing where one of my favorite people grew to be who he is: it was a beautiful experience.

pictures to follow.

you’ve got a mighty strong grip for a girl.

ughhh, monday night was completely wretched. grant, josh and i went to bauhaus at 7 so that grant and i could work on our film papers, and we stayed until they closed at 1. but neither of us were done, so we went back to the ole’ palatine house and made some food and continued writing. i went to bed at 5am, and slept for 4 hours before getting up for class and to turn my paper in. jackie and ben were making pancakes in the kitchen that morning and offered some to me, but i was already running late, so i just took it on the road with me. my brain was completely discombobulated: i’m sure the ups guy that passed me driving didn’t think twice about my level of sanity as i tried to maneuver my car with a cigarette in one hand and a pancake hanging out of my mouth.

but the shiteousness of my day was somewhat quelled when we watched meet me in st. louis in class. it was such a delightful film… good cinematography, cutesy songs, and fabulous costumes. oh boy.

i’m just not really sure how i feel about judy garland.

i will concede that she has an utterly gorgeous singing voice, but i’m not sure if i think she’s good actress or not (which i almost feel is a blasphemous statement to a degree, considering she’s a major film icon). her voice and movements seem very exaggerated and over-the-top to me, but that just may be a remnant of the silent film era, when you had to use your body as your primary means of acting… and i suppose she can’t really be blamed for that. also, i just really can’t decide if i think she’s cute. there are moments when i think she’s absolutely gorgeous, and others when she looks very alien-esque. maybe that’s just me.

ughhhh…

so i had migraine on friday that lasted for 8 hours that no amount of advil would take away. i had to miss an important class and my internship because of it, was barely able to drive home because the pain made my vision fail, and just went home and laid in my bed in the dark, waiting for it to pass. i think i need to see a doctor about that… utterly debilitating migraines = no fun at all.

it’s midterms, and i want to shoot myself. i have a midterm today, an 8-page paper due tomorrow (that i’ve only written 1/4 of), and another midterm on thursday.

but then once friday rolls around, i’ll be heading down to portland to celebrate the birth of blake rehnberg 19 years ago, with people that i adore. i have a sweet, sweet boyfriend, excellent friends, and a big new bed to sleep in.

there is always good to be found.